The World I Know
by Mandee1
Summary: Song Fic. Conner thinks about his life as the leader of the Rangers.


Disclaimer: I don't own Conner or any of the other Rangers. The song is "The World I Know" by Collective Soul. I don't own that either.

A/N: I just recently caught up with Dino Thunder, and I had heard this song on the radio a couple days ago and became inspired to write this. It's my first PRDT fic, I hope I didn't get Conner's character wrong.

Setting: Sometime before "White Thunder."

"The World I Know"

_Has our conscience shown?  
Has the sweet breeze blown?  
Has all the kindness gone?  
Hope still lingers on._

Conner McKnight sat on the front porch of Dr. Oliver's lair. The sun was just beginning to set, and the evening air was chilly yet comfortable. Conner had originally gone to Dr. O's house to get some extra training time in, but once he arrived, he suddenly just felt like sitting outside, tossing around his mini red soccer ball, relaxing and thinking. Thinking wasn't something he did a lot of, but he'd had a lot of stuff on his mind lately.

As the leader of the newest team of Power Rangers and the star of Reefside's soccer team, he'd been under a lot of pressure. Between battles, soccer practices, and trying to maintain at least a C average in school, there wasn't much time for anything else. Ever since becoming a Ranger, he'd sacrificed so much - a possible pro soccer career, his reputation as the popular hottie-jock at school, his group of jock friends. All to fight giant monsters from a distant island.

In the few weeks he'd been a Ranger, Conner couldn't figure out what part of destiny had chosen him, of all people, to be a Power Ranger, much less the leader. He, who never cared for anything besides girls, soccer, and if he was completely honest with himself, his own well-being. He, who could barely keep a respectable GPA in school. He never really cared about other people, he wasn't smart. Why him? Rangers were supposed to have quick minds, have the ability to think logically, have concern for other people around them. He didn't have any of those things.

And yet, he was the leader of the world's greatest team of superheroes, a team that everyone in the world put all their trust in. If there was any hope of destroying all evil in the universe, it was the Power Rangers, under Conner's leadership.

_I drink myself of newfound pity  
Sitting alone in New York City  
And I don't know why._

The thought scared him to death. He wouldn't admit it to everyone, but he worried a lot. He worried that he'd make a wrong move, a wrong decision. He'd done it plenty of times before with non-Ranger things. But this was different. If he messed up in battle, he'd probably be gone. So would his friends. And the whole town of Reefside. And he worried that Ethan and Kira would never learn to trust him. They had been getting around to it, but all it would take was one mistake and their trust in him would be lost completely. Conner didn't want to let them down. He didn't want to be known as the biggest failure in Power Ranger history.

Tommy had told Conner time and time again that it was normal for the leaders to put to much pressure on themselves, and that he had to learn to be confident in his abilities, but it was hard sometimes. Conner knew his Ranger duties were more important than anything else in the world, but sometimes he wished for his old life back. The times when he was confident and carefree, when all he did was play soccer and he didn't have any other worry in the world. Everything was so easy back then. He'd play soccer every day after school, haphazardly do his homework, go on dates every Friday night with a girl and dump her by Sunday night. He never worried, never got hurt. He missed those times.

And now, not only was he a huge worry-wart, he had turned into a self-pitying, sensitive loser.

Conner sighed, wincing at the twinge of pain in his ribs. It was either a battle wound, or he had gotten accidentally elbowed at soccer practice. He wasn't even sure. Ever since he became a Ranger, he'd been getting twice, maybe even triple, the amounts of injuries he'd get during soccer. Bruises, cuts, burns...it never failed. But he had to learn to accept it. Just like he had to learn to make up excuses for more than just not doing homework or pretending to go to soccer practice when he was really going on a date with some girl. He didn't like being injured, he didn't like lying, but it was just a part of being a Ranger.

_Now_, he was a worrying, self-pitying, complaining, cry-baby loser.

_Are we listening  
To hymns of offering?  
Have we eyes to see  
That love is gathering?_

Well, okay. He wasn't a complete loser. He still had soccer, he was still sort of popular. But his soccer teammates couldn't understand what had caused him to become such good friends with Kira Ford and Ethan James, why they were suddenly the only people he really hung out with anymore. He couldn't tell them the truth, so he just told them they had really gotten to know each other when they were stuck in detention that day. They either didn't believe him or laughed at him, or both, but he didn't care. Sure, he wanted things to be the way they were before he was a Ranger, but he couldn't go back in time, and he had finally found people he could really trust, people who didn't judge him based on his popularity or athletic skill. And he had to admit, it did feel pretty good.

Conner smiled as he thought about Kira and Ethan. It was hard to believe they had learned to get along so well. For the past three years he was in high school, they had been the targets of his and his soccer friends' jokes. Now, they were his best friends. Sure, they drove him crazy, and he was sure he drove them especially crazy, but they had definitely come a long way than when they had first met. Or at least, started associating with each other.

_...So I walk up on high  
And I step to the edge  
To see my world below.  
And I laugh at myself  
While the tears roll down.  
'Cause it's the world I know._

But when Conner really thought about things, being a Ranger wasn't all that bad. Sure, he didn't like the pressure, or the wounds, or the lying, or having to miss more than half of his soccer practices, but becoming a Power Ranger was probably the coolest - and at the same time, definitely the weirdest - thing that had ever happened to him. It had definitely given him a new perspective on life, taught him more about other people and himself. It was those things Conner couldn't really complain about. After all, he would be a Power Ranger for the rest of his life. Even when they defeated Mesogog (he wasn't too bright, but even he had noticed that all the other Ranger teams had eventually completely destroyed their enemies, and couldn't help but think that it was inevitable for them, too), he knew he'd still have the power in him.

Okay. So now, he was worrying, self-pitying, complaining, _and_ pensive.

Conner laughed at himself as he finally entered Dr. Oliver's house, mentally swearing to himself that he would never share this stuff with Kira and Ethan.


End file.
